Lived Experiences (Tanzania & Beyond)

Tatizo kwetu Mbagala: How i struggled with where i live.

MBAGALA (1)

Mpaka mwaka huu tunatimiza miaka saba, toka tuhamie Mbagala. Na mwaka huu ndio nimeanza kujisikia pride, furaha, uhuru na amani ya kuishi Mbagala.

Nakumbuka nilipokuwa naenda Mbeya kimasomo,  nilijisikia nikifarijiwa na mstari ule wa Yeremia 29:4-7 (“Bwana wa majeshi, Mungu wa Israeli, awaambia hivi watu wote waliochukuliwa mateka, niliowafanya wachukuliwe toka Yerusalemu mpaka Babeli; Jengeni nyumba, mkakae ndani yake, kapandeni bustani, mkale matunda yake, oeni wake, mkazae wana na binti; kawaozeni wake wana wenu, mkawaoze waume binti zenu, wazae wana na binti; mkaongezeke huko wala msipungue. Kautakieni amani mji ule, ambao nimewafanya mchukuliwe mateka, mkauombee kwa Bwana; kwa maana katika amani yake mji huo ninyi mtapata amani). Na labda hiyo ndio sababu nilijisikia kufurahia Mbeya na kuexplore kwa undani mji huo. But Mbagala, ulinifanya nijisikie vibaya kwasababu hata kabla sijahamia tayari mji huu ulikuwa na picha/umaarufu mbaya ambao sikuupenda, na nina kumbuka nilikuja huku mara mbili, mara ya kwanza ikiwa Sabasaba expo, na mara ya pili nilisali kanisa moja pamoja na ndugu zangu huku Mbagala. Kwahiyo kuhamia huku kulikuwa experience mpya kwa familia yetu sote.

Hakuna mtu asiyejua kwamba Mbagala ni maarufu kwa mabomu yaliyotokea sehemu hii, kwa kuwa na watu wengi, maisha kutokuwa ya gharama, kuwa na mabasi ambayo yanajaza watu, watu kugombania magari mpaka kupitia dirishani, kuwa na foleni lakini pia mwimbo wa Diamond. Nadhani mwimbo wa Diamond na mabomu ndio umekuza zaidi jina la Mbagala na kupaint picha fulani kuhusu mji huu, picha ambayo sikupenda kuwa associated nayo and hence kuchukuia kwamba naishi huku.

Unajua nimegundua kitu, katika akili zetu, bila kujua au kwa kujua, tuna picha ya maisha ya kila mahali. Like mtu akisema natoka masaki tayari kuna picha ya utakavyochukulia maisha ya huyo mtu, mtu akisema nakaa Temeke, tayari unapicha ya maisha ya huyo mtu, hivyohivyo pia mtu akisema anakaa Mbezi na hata Mwananyamala. Ni kwasababu ya picha hii, sikupenda kusema nakaa Mbagala.

Kwasababu picha hii ilikuwa inashusha image na pride ambayo ninayo na nilitamani jamii nzima inijue kwa picha nyingine.

-Nilikuwa sipendi kusema nakaa Mbagala, kwasababu at the end of the day, watu wanakuclassify kwa picha mbaya zote ambazo Mbagala inazo.

-Nilikuwa sipendi kusema nakaa Mbagala kwasababu ya mshangao ninaoupata nikisema nakaa Mbagala, juzi tu kuna konda mmoja  kaniambia “heh? mrembo kama wewe unakaa Mbagala?! (Welcome to my world).

-Nilikuwa sipendi kusema nakaa Mbagala japokuwa tukiachana na marafiki zangu wote wanafika makwao ndani ya nusu saa, mimi nachukua masaa mawili barabarani, and they start to worry, and it’s not my fault, huku kuna foleni but pia siwezi sema mengi kwasababu watanishangaa nakaa Mbagala, and na nilikuwa najisikia aibu kwanini nakaa mbali.

-Nilikuwa sipendi kumleta mtu yoyote home, kwasababu sikutaka wajue vile mbali nakaa, lakini pia wawasimulie watu lifestyle za watu wa Mbagala.

-Nilikuwa sipendi kusema nakaa Mbagala, kwasababu ya uzito wa sehemu ninayokaa, matani ninayopata kwasababu ya ninapokaa, lakini pia kuonekana wa chini mbele za watu ninaokuwa nao, because let’s be real watu wanafikiri watu wanaokaa Mbagala ni washamba, wahuni na hawana maadili/kazi au pesa. Hii ni kweli, but hii ni kweli kwa watu wa dunia nzima, hii ni kweli hata kwa watu wanaokaa Masaki, hii ni kweli hata kwa watu wanaokaa Mbezi. I have been to couple countries, nimejifunza kutokugeneralize judgement yangu, nilipokuwa naenda Malawi nilikuwa najua ni moja kati ya nchi maskini, so i had a picture of how life will be, but kufika tu border nikakuta value ya hela ya Malawi ni kubwa kuliko value ya hela ya Tanzania (my generalization died that day, 18 December 2018). But pia watu wanaishi lifestyle ambayo in your mind and mine you would not expect watu ambao unasikia “wanaishi kwenye nchi maskini” kuishi. Na kwahivyo i had to relearn couple things #nomoregeneralization.

My pride, i had to question myself and why did i not want the full picture of who i am to be known by everyone (because truth be told, a girl from Mbagala is my life now, just like Diamond is a boy from Tandale). God had to deal with my pride, ambayo ilikuwa ya kujikataa, because when i am hiding who i am, najikataa who God made me as a person or where God has me in this season of my life. And so God had to deal with that pride, the same pride inayofanya watu waigize maisha kwenye social media, the same pride inayofanya watu/ mimi nidanganye kuhusu some stories in my life or who i really am, the same pride inayokufanya uwe different kwa different people, that pride, God had to take that away, and make me as real as i can be, in any situation.

I struggled, and hid my shame (because i thought that i should be ashamed of where i live), i struggled because i wasn’t happy with the area, watu ni wema, sijawahi ibiwa, chipsi za street ni tamu, maongezi na mabishano ya kwenye gari ni everything i live for, but deep down i hated this place, i wanted to move.

Nilikuwa nawaza kuhamia town not because huku ni mbali but because huku ni “kwa kishamba” according to people’s perception. I wanted to look like a town girl and belong. I have loved Malawi, a lot, kwasababu kuishi Malawi kumenifungua macho, nimejifunza watu wanamatatizo mengi sana kiasi kwamba hawawezi kujali matatizo yako all the time, kila mtu kafocus kwenye maisha yake, na apart from that hata mtu akicomment chochote kuhusu sehemu unapoishi mara nyingi inatokana na insecurity yake, but itakuuma kama na wewe una insecurities zako. Remember the konda guy, he gave me that comment kwasababu he was insecure and has his own negative perceptions, in his mind watu wote wanaokaa Mbagala ni wabaya na ndio maana alishangaa binti mzuri kama mimi kukaa Mbagala (Welcome dude, i shattered your negative perceptions, everyone who lives in Mbagala is beautiful and amazing).

So nimejifunza kupenda Mbagala, and i proudly love everything that people know about us, na wasichokijua come to my city and learn/ unlearn couple things, but for now i love the accent that my people have here, i love the street food, unity, kupigania magari, conversations za kwenye magari, sunset and sunrise (oh men, i see them very clearly here), i love my people, how cheap life is, how kind people are, how funny we are, how noisy the city is, and the name MBAGALA.

Ukitoa perception za watu, utarealize watu wanaoishi Mbagala, wanamahitaji sawa na watu wa dunia nzima i.e maji, hewa na chakula. Ukitoa perceptions, you might relearn/ unlearn couple things about people in the world, just like the way i did in Malawi, and make lifelong friendship with people from everywhere, cause they are all amazing.

P.S Kuwa na perception na watu fulani kuna kufanya ushindwe kuona uniqueness ya watu, everyone is unique. Inakufanya ushindwe kumjua Eunice as Eunice, because you already have your generalization/perception about people who live in Mbagala, and so you will put me in a box of your perceptions.

And for the first time, after seven years, i felt God leading me to Jeremiah 29:4-7, and in my heart i felt at home, in my heart i felt God leading me to settle, HERE, NOW.

Eunice, a blogger from Mbagala.

Author

24, proud Tanzanian, bookworm, beach lover, loud laugher,conversationalist, deep thinker, public foodie, authentic writer and globetrotter.

Comments

Eugene Barasa
April 15, 2019 at 6:19 pm

Indeed every place we live might have some perceptions that won’t fit you, but we can’t change the location sometimes.
I love you courage on having a quite different view of your environment.



_materu
May 5, 2019 at 6:41 am

Wow, for a person who doesn’t like to go to mbagala manaakr ni safari as if naenda Moro..I feel encouraged kuja tena..
En I like the Wa y your article has rawness en truth not only about the place but also your feelings about it..before and after u accepted it!!..

This z amazing nigaaa



Flora
July 27, 2019 at 5:51 am

Wow kumbe jirani yangu kabisa..mm nakaa kijichi yeah me too nilikua nayo iyo ila kichinichini sio sana so nilikua naona afadhali niseme tu mapema nakaa kijichi kbl attention haijageuka kwangu..ila bado watu wanayo iyo kukuona ww kwenu ni kwa hali fulani but nimekua sina tatizo nalo ilo now kbsaa..



    July 27, 2019 at 11:33 am

    Oooh!! Wow…

    Naelewa, tens attention ikiegukia kwako wote wanashangaa…

    Leo asubuhi kuna mtu kaniuliza unakaa wapi nikamwambia mbagala, akanijibu,’ magari ya kijijini asubuhi shida’.?????



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