Statistics has it that 1in 5 girls is raped in college… So devastating.
Am sorry that you are the 1.
Am sorry that you were raped.
Am sorry that we failed to protect you.
In a place where you should have felt safe and free, you were forced to feel unsafe and timid.
Am sorry that you will never be the same again, that you will have to learn how to live the new normal.
Am sorry that every time you remember about your university life, you will always remember the incident.
Am sorry that you don’t know who to tell, you feel ashamed.
An sorry that you are angry with God, you even doubt His presence, because you wonder how can a loving Father allow such an unloving act to happen to you, and if His eyes are set on you always, why didn’t He protect you.. And so you are confused about Him.
Am sorry that you feel this way.
Am sorry that you have to face the guy who did this to you… And maybe he is boasting about it.
Am sorry that the men who know that you were raped, treat you like you are not valuable, in their pride and sexist attempt to remind you of your ‘place’.
Am sorry that those who know, have segregated you.. Treat you inhumanly, like the way our fathers used to treat those who have leprosy.
Am sorry that your friends don’t want to be associated with you, all they think you do is destroy their ‘image’.
Am sorry that they don’t believe you. Even if you tell them how you were raped while sobbing.
Am sorry that the teachers committee/leadership is full of men who wouldn’t do anything about your case, some of them are accused of their own sexual abuse cases that have gone unheard.
Am sorry that the student leadership is powerless, and think that this case is useless, or you got what you ‘deserved’.
Am sorry that they make sure you know that they think that way.
Am sorry that they blame you for it, and ask you stupid questions that you would rather cover your ears than hear them.. Questions like, “what were you wearing”, “why did you go to his place”, ” how were you sitting” and so many insensitive questions.
Am sorry that your eyes were forced to wake up to the reality that our culture, our systems, and our families want to hide this rather than help you find justice and healing.
I see you, I feel for you, I understand you, your pain is valid, what you went through is not fair or right.
To the girl who was raped in university, I am here if you want someone to talk to.
P.S, I have been reading this blog, specifically for women who have been sexually abused. Joy talks about healing and sexual shame in a way that our society should have been more open to. I hope you find her blog useful to you too.